And now, a segment we like to call ‘Really? with ThemeParkMom’

I received a press release today from a resort that shall remain nameless. It started with this headline: “Spa Pampering While Still Wearing Pampers.”

The spa says its new menu “designed for little angels” will help kids “pushed to the breaking point” by being told to eat their vegetables instead of ice cream and not being able to go to the playground when they want to.

So, with my apologies to Saturday Night Live, it’s time for my own “Really?” segment…

  • Really? My kid needs a footbath ritual followed by a 30-minute massage with chocolate massage oil? Really?
  • Really? My “metrosexual little guy” (the resort’s words, not mine) needs a precision manicure and pedicure, followed by a hand and foot massage with chocolate butter? Really?
  • Really? All that playing in the resort pool leads to tiredness and tension in my 2 to 12 year old that needs to be “released” by a professional massage therapist? Really?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but if my kids have that much stress and tension in their lives, I think I’ll be running to family therapy and fixing what’s wrong in my home instead of taking them to a spa.

Sure, I appreciate that babies — all of us, really — will be more relaxed and sleep more soundly after a massage. If you want to massage your kids, go for it. And the fun of a mommy/daughter mani-pedi isn’t lost on me.

But if my budget allows for spa treatments on my next vacation, I’m keeping them all for myself. Sorry, kids, that’s mama’s money.

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  1. WOW. I mean, REALLY?! Thanks for the laugh this afternoon! (And while I’d better keep them nameless, too, I actually know a couple and their baby who would totally book this resort, STAT. Shall I forward them the press release?)

  2. I didn’t see this particular press release, but “Spa Pampering While Still Wearing Pampers” is a bit much. I do enjoy spa treatments and have heard of therapy massage for babies, but I’m with you on the “Really?” aspect.

    Is this particular part of the spa away from the regular spa treatment areas? I’m not keen on little kids invading my relaxing spa space – even my own.

    Thanks for the giggle.

  3. Oh boy! I better stop trying to get my kids to eat their vegetables lest they start asking for money for spa treatments! What happened to that simpler time when all a kid needed was the occasional ice cream cone or a day at the beach to be happy? Great post! 🙂

  4. Oh good God! What’s next? Really, who thinks up these things. I think you showed more than a little restraint in not divulging the name of the resort. After all, it was a press release intended for public consumption. I, for one, am dying to know who it was!

  5. Only in America…at least I’m assuming it’s America! We are brilliant with coming up with things and services that we don’t really need, but think we do! Wow – a great laugh.

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